Gun Humor off the B-Fix webmail

[744x4]

> Clint Smith, Director of Thunder Ranch, is part drill Instructor, and
> part stand up comic. Here are a few of his observations on tactics,
> firearms, self defense and life as we know it in the civilized world.
>
> "The handgun would not be my choice of weapon if I knew I was going to be in
> a fight....I'd choose a rifle, a shotgun, an RPG or an atomic bomb
> instead."
>
> "The two most important rules in a gunfight are: always cheat and
> always win."
>
> "Every time I teach a class, I discover I don't know something."
>
> "Don't forget, incoming fire has the right of way."
>
> "Make your attacker advance through a wall of bullets. I may get
> killed with my own gun, but he's gonna have to beat me to death with it,
> cause it's going to be empty."
>
> "If you're not shootin', you should be loadin'. If you're not loadin,
> you should be movin', if you're not movin', someone's gonna cut your head
> off and put it on a stick."
>
> "When you reload in low light encounters, don't put your flashlight in
> your back pocket.. If you light yourself up, you'll look like an angel or
> the tooth fairy...and you're gonna be one of 'em pretty
> soon."
>
> "Do something. It may be wrong, but do something."
>
> "Nothing adds a little class to a sniper course like a babe in a
> ghilliesuit."
>
> "Shoot what's available, as long as it's available, until something
> else becomes available."
>
> "If you carry a gun, people will call you paranoid. That's
> ridiculous.. If I have a gun, what in the hell do I have to be paranoid
> for."
>
> "Don't shoot fast, shoot good."
>
> "You can say 'stop' or 'alto' or use any other word you think will
> work but I've found that a large bore muzzle pointed at someone's head is
> pretty much the universal language."
>
> "You have the rest of your life to solve your problems. How long you
> live depends on how well you do it."
>
> "You cannot save the planet. You may be able to save yourself and your
> family."
>
> "Thunder Ranch will be here as long as you'll have us or until someone
> makes us go away and either way it will be exciting."
>
> More Excellent Gun Wisdom....... The purpose of fighting is to win.
> There is no possible victory in defense. The sword is more important than
> the shield, and skill is more important than either. The
> final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental.
>
> 1. Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight,
> he'll just kill you.
>
> 2. If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.
>
> 3. I carry a gun cause a cop is too heavy.
>
> 4. When seconds count, the cops are just minutes away.
>
> 5. A reporter did a human-interest piece on the Texas Rangers.
> The reporter recognized the Colt Model 1911 the Ranger was carrying and
> asked him 'Why do you carry a 45?' The Ranger responded, 'Because they
> don't make a 46.'
>
> 6. An armed man will kill an unarmed man with monotonous regularity.
>
> 7. The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady
> commented on his wearing his sidearm. 'Sheriff, I see you have your
> pistol. Are you expecting trouble?' 'No ma'am. If I were expecting
> trouble, I would have brought my rifle.'
>
> 8. Beware the man who only has one gun. He probably knows how to use
> it!