Jokes

[sparkchaser]

*TWENTY DOLLARS *



*On their wedding night, the young bride*



*Approached her new husband and asked*



*For $20..00 for their first lovemaking*



*Encounter. In his highly aroused state,*



*Her husband readily agreed.*



*This scenario was repeated each time they made*



*Love, for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a*



*Cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that*



*She needed.** *



*Arriving home around noon one day, she was*



*Surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.*



*During the next few minutes, he explained that *



*His employer was going through a process of corporate*



*Downsizing, and he had been let go.*



*



It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find

Another position that paid anywhere near what

He'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.





Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which

Showed more than forty years of steady deposits and interest totaling

Nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of depositsissued

By the bank which were worth over $2 million,

And informed him that they

Were one of the largest depositors in the bank.





She explained that for more than

Three decades she had 'charged' him for sex,

These holdings had multiplied and these were the

Results of her savings and investments.* *



Faced with evidence of cash and investments

Worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could

Barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out,

'If I'd had any idea what you were doing,

I would have given you all my business!'**



That's when she shot him.**



You know, sometimes, men just don't know when

To keep their mouths shut*

[sparkchaser]

Thought you might like these statistics......



Doctors:

(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.

(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.

© Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.

(Statistics: courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health and Human Services.)


Now think about this: Guns:

(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000.

(Yes, that's 80 million)

(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500.

© The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .000188.

(Statistics courtesy of FBI)


So, statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous
than gun owners

Remember, 'Guns don't kill people, doctors do..'

FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.

Please alert your friends to this alarming threat.

We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!! [Lmao] [Lmao] [Lmao]

Out of concern for the public at large, I withheld the statistics on
lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention.

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